Babyhood (Unabridged)

I'm going to be totally honest. This is not the kind of audiobook that can help you. It's not a "how-to," a "when-to," or a "what-to-expect." It's not even endorsed by anyone remotely connected to the medical profession. (Although a cousin of mine who sells carpeting to doctors' offices not only found it "insightful" and "informative," but also felt that, "if properly vacuumed, it should last a lifetime.")

"A fine endorsement," you say. "But if I have only one audiobook to buy, shouldn't I go for the helpful one?" Let's compare. Those "know-it-all" books tell you how to have a happy, healthy pregnancy. My book mentions a squirrel. Those books tell you how to care for a newborn child. My book describes how tired I am. Those books give you essential information you can use in a life-threatening emergency. My book has some very amusing anecdotes about poop. So really, it's up to you. If you want to be prepared and well-informed, I understand. But if you enjoy hearing the words "pterodactyl" and "uterus" in the same book, you've come to the right place.