The CEO of the Sofa (Unabridged)

New York Times best-selling author P. J. O'Rourke has toured the fighting in Bosnia, visited the West Bank disguised as P. J. of Arabia, lobbed one-liners on the battlefields of the Gulf War, and traded quips with Communist rebels in the jungles of the Philippines. Now, in The CEO of the Sofa, he embarks on a mission to the most frightening place of all: his own home.

Ensconced on the domestic boardroom's throne (although not supposed to put his feet on the cushions), he faces a three-year-old who wants a cell phone, a freelance career devoted to writing articles like "Chewing-Mouth Dogs Bring Hope to People with Eating Disorders", and neighbors who smell like Democrats. ("That is, using smell as a transitive verb. When I light a cigar they wave their hands in front of their faces and pretend to cough.")

Undaunted - with the help of martinis - by middle age, P. J. holds forth on everything from getting toddlers to sleep ("Advice to parents whose kids love the story of the dinosaurs: Don't give away the surprise ending") to why Hillary Clinton's senatorial election victory was a good thing ("We Republicans were almost out of people to hate in the Senate. Teddy Kennedy is just too old and fat to pick on").

And P.J. leaps (well, groans and pushes himself up) from the couch to pursue assignments such as a high-speed drive across the ugliest part of India at the hottest time of the year; a blind (drunk) wine tasting with Christopher Buckley; and a sojourn at the U.N. Millennial Summit, where he runs the risk of perishing from boredom and puts readers in peril of laughing themselves to death.